I’m currently taking a class from Sonja Lyubomirsky, PhD sponsored by Mentorcoach.  Sonja is one of the the premiere researchers in Positive Psychology and she wrote a very comprehensive book called “The How of Happiness”.  Both in her book and in the class, she describes what research has come to confirm for us about “who” is happy and “how” they achieve it.  It’s now confirmed by many studies that 50% of happiness is governed by genes.  10% of happiness is circumstantial…that regardless of the good and bad events in our life, we adjust to our circumstances, for the most part, over time.  So it may be fruitless to worry about appearance, elusive definitions of success, a larger income and even perfect health.  Sonja’s research goes on to state that 40% of our happiness is the direct result of our purposeful, intentional activity.  She says,  “When happy people are observed they don’t just sit around being contented.  They make things happen.  They pursue new understanding, seek new achievements and control their thoughts and feelings.  In sum, our intentional, effortful activities have a powerful effect on how happy we are, over and above what the effects of our set points and the life circumstances in which we find themselves.  If an unhappy person wants to experience interest, enthusiasm, contentment, peace, and joy, he or she can make it happen by learning the habits of a happy person.”  This may all seem obvious but my interest is in how we can reinforce our practice and efforts to be happier.  Sustained effort, even if it is on our own behalf to become happier, takes considerable regular intentional effort.  It may also require “breaking old patterns and habits of thinking and behaving”….no easy task, but in my mind, well worth the effort!!

Each week I plan to discuss one of the highly researched activities from Sonja on how you can increase your  happiness.  Sonja does caution that there is not a “one-size fits all” way to happiness. Her book includes a “Person-Activity Fit Diagnostic”.  This is simple, quick measure that uses a “systematic, empirically based approach to determine which set of happiness activities (out of twelve) will be most valuable to try”.  Each week I’ll discuss one of her twelve activities and you can try them out for yourself!

The attacks on 9-11 created an atmosphere of fear and terror in our country…it might be fair to say that we as a nation were “traumatized”. Terror management theory says that at such times, an authoritarian leader can be very appealing. The black and white, simplistic posture that such a leader represents can be reassuring to frightened people. The confusion, randomness of terror tactics can create a desire for order to return above all else. An authoritarian leader can seem very desirable in such a climate. “Tell me what to do, and promise that if I follow you, everything will be okay”. When the world is painted as black and white, good versus evil, things seem understandable again. As long as I am with the good guys, I’ll be okay, right? However, nothing in this complex world is simple, black or white or can be reduced to notions of absolute good and evil. Life can be random, unfair and maddeningly confusing, even during the best of times.

What does all this have to do with chronic illness, you may astutely ask? Well, having recently been diagnosed with a serious, chronic illness, I am no stranger to feelings of fear and terror. Will I survive? What does all this mean? Why me? How do I make sense of this? Which doctor or hospital can save me from this fate? All these questions and more are certainly part of my experience (and I imagine others in similar circumstance). Initially, survival is all one can think about. All of ones energy is mobilized in the direction of surviving. Sadness, grief, anger, fear are all part of the process. However, living “successfully” with a chronic illness requires the return of hope. Hope not only gets one out of bed in the morning (or off the couch) but begins to “broaden and build a thought action repertoire”. “How do I live now?” I’m still me, just rearranged in a new, unfamiliar fashion. What creative ways can I employ to live in harmony with this unwelcome reality? I need good doctors and good medical expertise but with an incurable, rare illness, there are no black and white simple answers. No doctor can keep me safe or predict the future for me. Statistics are nice but they never predict an individual journey through unknown territory. Hope and optimism broaden thinking, making creative solutions once again possible. When dealing with a chronic illness, “realistic optimism” is indispensable, in my opinion! Remaining optimistic, positive and hopeful gives you the fuel to creatively problem solve as you move through the many challenges that illness can present. I have relied heavily each and every day on the many cognitive techniques I learned though studying positive psychology principles.

This brings me back to what I originally began talking about and to what I’ve observed these last few days being played out on the larger world stage of politics. How does a country disheartened and traumatized (not unlike being diagnosed with an illness) find its center once again and move forward with a realistic sense of hope and optimism? Well, we can either stay stuck and overwhelmed in a state of fear or worse yet, apathy and cynicism….or we can focus on what is possible in this complex and ever changing world. Those leaders that know how to inspire hope, optimism, and bring about positive emotion have the best chance of helping our country thrive in our complex world. The inclusive, creative energy of a positive, hopeful leader can mobilize what is best in its citizenry. Positive emotion and energy in balance with realistic optimism will, in my opinion, be our best hope of thriving and healing. Not unlike those elements needed to thrive with a chronic illness.

Much wisdom can be gleaned from the field of Positive Psychology. It is not just a “feel good” exercise. The research and knowledge about powerful concepts such as gratitude, hope, optimism and positive emotion, just to name a few, have answers to many human dilemmas tricher poker en lignejeu de poker gratuitspoker online argentpoker multijoueur gratuitesregles tournoi pokerjeux poker tour en lignele pokersites de poker onlineregles poker 2play seven card stud onlinejeu de poker internetjouez pokerpoker games networld of series pokerstrategie poker onlinetelecharger partie pokerjouer poker omaha en lignejeu de carte poker gratuitesjouer poker mact?l?charger de poker onlineworld champion pokerjouez au poker en lignepoker gratuites hors ligneкомпютриjeu poker freewarelogiciel jeu pokerholdem poker onlinetilt pokertable de poker en lignepoker gratuites bruelregles de jeu poker,regles poker,regles poker hold hemjouer de pokersexy poker onlineprofessional poker tourregles poker holdemjouer poker en ligne gratuitestricher au poker en lignejouer o poker gratuitementpoker gratuites sur internetregles du jeu de pokerjeux poker a telechargerstud poker onlinebonus pokervideo poker a telechargerpoker gratuites cadeaujeu poker portables ,jeu de poker en ligne,jeu pokerwam poker comsalle poker onlineregles du poker texas holdemjeu poker a telechargerpoker en ligne paypal and I believe provide the best illumination when an individual or nation has temporarily lost its way!

Many people who have had brushes with death have created “life lists”.  Marty Seligman suggests writing a Legacy Letter (or Eulogy) that takes a retrospective look back at your life from a future vantage point to encourage “seizing the day” and becoming the architect of your own future.  I found this exercise really inspirational and clarifying.

One of the biggest problems facing most of us today is being over-stressed, over-tired and overworked.  Taking time to stop, pause and reflect in a state of mindfulness and gratitude helps calibrate our life’s trajectory.  Another message from “The Bucket List’ is that relationships with others offer much deeper satisfaction than accumulating wealth. However, living out one dreams and not standing on the sidelines of life is also essential to a life well lived!

I can enthusiastically recommend “The Bucket List”….I am busy composing my list….How about you?

The benefits of regular physical activity as described by Mayo Clinic article (Mayo Clinic Staff, 2007) are that it improves mood, combats chronic diseases, helps one manage one’s weight, strengthens one’s heart and lungs, promotes better sleep, can put the spark back into one’s sex life, and can be - gasp - fun.

Japanese physicians (Arita, H., 2003; Hara, K., Sato-Suzuki, I., and Arita, H., 2006) describe the serotonergic system in the brainstem as being activated by various regular rhythmic physical activities, including jogging, walking, Hula, Zen, etc., and thus observed remarkable improvements in psychophysiological measurements after long continuation of these activities, especially after 100 days.

A current well established public health recommendation of 30 munites’ light to moderate activity on most days of the week (U.S. Surgeon General, 1996; Japanese Ministry of Labour and Welfare, 2006) is considered effective for achieving these benefits.

I myself value jogging and walking because they provide me with a sense of control and management in my work and life. They thus blow depressive feelings away and let me feel strong confidence in my future success.

Wouldn’t you like to join me in jogging or walking to help your physical and emotional health?

Hisao Kano

These conclusions provide both adults and children with the opportunity to deepen their understanding of gratitude. It takes us all beyond superficial Thank yous into an exploration of our negative emotions, wants and cravings. It challenges us to confront and let go of our demands and disatisfactions. Can we find the resources to be appreciative and grateful when things do not go our way and our wishes are denied?

When I read this to kids I like to contrast being thankful with a picture of a child begging her Mom to buy her candy in a store. Then we work on what she could feel thankful for and we talk about feeling the opposite of thankful or unthankful. It seems to help children connect with how to put their minor wants into perspective and to identify and feel grateful for the more important things in their lives. This process takes them deeper into understanding what it means to be thankful twelve months of the year and teaches them how to accept the “no”s gracefully.

Elayne Hunter

Gratitude is more or less important to you depending on your value system. The emerging field of positive psychology has identified Gratitude as one of its core values that helps people live fulfilling lives. You can assess your core values and even take a Gratitude self-assessment for FREE (click here).

The bottom line is that we are in the season of gratitude with Thanksgiving and the Holidays upon us, and knowing how to appreciate yourself and others is a key issue for the season.

Here’s an important tip regarding the expression of gratitude. One of the exercises Marty Seligman, author of Authentic Happiness, has students do is to write a Gratitude Letter. This letter thanks someone in your past or present for something they gave you. What he found was that when students wrote their letters they felt good about themselves and the letters recipient. Where they got into trouble was when they delivered the letter. Sometimes the letter was accepted graciously, but sometimes the recipient was confused and in some cases belligerent about being thanked for something they were not even aware of, i.e., being thanked for teaching their child resilience through frequent verbal abuse. So, when you get in touch with what you are grateful about yourself, sit with it and take in what you can. When you want to express gratitude to others, pause and ask yourself if they are ready to hear it.

During this season I recommend exploring your own value of gratitude by visiting the website above, and more simply, telling people you run into during your life, when you honestly appreciate what they have, or are doing that you appreciate them. I told my personal trainer how much I appreciated his ability to work around my aging bodies weekly needs and stopped him dead in his tracks while he dealt with being told something good for a change. I told the lady at the checkout stand in the market that I appreciated her daily good cheer and brought a tear to her eye.

On a larger scale, the Greater Good Magazine out of UC Berkeley, whose mission is devoted to the scientific understanding of happy and compassionate individuals, strong social bonds, and altruistic behavior, dedicated an article in their Summer 2007 edition to Gratitude. You can find it here.

set was at 4:49 pm. 8 hours and 15 minutes of

daylight. Everyday between now and 12/21

we lose more than 5 minutes of daylight.

After the 12/21 we savor the idea that we are

getting more daylight each day until June 21st

when we only have a few hours of colorful

twilight and total darkness.

This time of year most people go to work in

the dark and come home in the dark.

The positive side of our darkness is that here

in southern Alaska we have long and

colorful sunrises and sunsets and the

light of the white snow.

We also have Northern Lights and as one

travels north ( and lose more daylight)

they become more vivid and prevalent.

While we Alaskans love our sunny

days and nights in the summer, our winters

challenge each of us. Winter teaches us

new things about what keeps us going

as we figure out how to make it through

another dark, cold day. For me it is a com-

bination of developing close friendships, broad-

ening my mind, enjoying my work, being physi-

cally active outdoors and being involved with

communities of people.

Anchorage is alive with opportunities to be

active in anything imaginable and things that

only Alaskans could dream up (snowshoe

softball, ice bowling). However, the biggest

obstacle can be getting out of bed or off the

couch on a dark, cold day.

On Saturday and Sunday whether it’s 20

degrees above zero or below zero, I head off

to cross country ski, down hill ski or walk.

If I really have it together it’s mid day when

what sun we have is the strongest and the day

is the warmest. I found that having really

warm and comfortable winter gear is critical.

In the darkest part of the year I

use a high intensity (SAD) light to

keep my energy and mood positive. I can tell

that my mind wants the light and my body

wants that warmth of a bright thing shining

on me.

Last year some medical professionals in

the community started testing people for

Vitamin D deficiency. They discovered that

most Alaskans could feel lots better if they

took D supplements. Our bodies get vitamin

D naturally from our skin being touched by

sunlight for a period of time on a daily basis.

It turns out that feeling positive here in

Alaska takes determination, initiative

and an astute medical professional.

Elayne Hunter

I was babysitting my 3-year old grandson yesterday and found myself near the end of the day, as we were both growing tired, feeling grumpy. He stepped on my old dog who flipped out and threw herself into her water dish, which spilled over the floor, and I yelled at him. Of course he looked at me with those innocent 3-year old eyes and burst into tears. I don’t like to yell, especially at innocent children, and spent the rest of the day telling myself what a “bad” grandma I was. It took me until 11pm, laying in bed, to remember to appreciate all the good things I do for Max and my daughter, and forgiving myself for a minor lapse in emotional regulation. So for about 6 hours I forgot to appreciate, my-self, and at least I finally remembered to. I know some folks NEVER remember to appreciate themselves but being “in the field,” and especially specializing in positive psychology I hold myself to a higher standard. I figure if I can’t do it, how can I expect others I’m working with to do it.

So, I’m letting Thanksgiving this year be a reminder to appreciate and feel gratitude to life, people, and that includes my-self.
What are you grateful for?

Linda

The bank was a challenge. OK, to the Reframing Studio.

As the man in line vented, a fellow teller quietly walked over and helped the harried one, gently and effectively. The angry man got his banking done and left, yea. Studio work - The angry man, who was able to dump some emotion, created a situation where someone could be helpful to another. I hope the teller under assault felt gratitude about the help. Hmmm, this masterpiece may need more work but at least it’s a start.

What I like about my Reframing Studio is it gives me a place to take situations that I find disturbing, not in a good way, work on them, leave them there to come back to, if needed. I can lock the door when I’m ready to leave the disturbing event and reframing work and go about my day more at peace.

Let me know what you think about this practice.

Linda