“Thanksgiving Gratitude Box”

by Bonni Akalis on October 13, 2008

While enrolled in Marty Seligman’s first “Authentic Happiness Coaching” class in 2003, I created a new family tradition designed to maximize a sense of gratitude during the Thanksgiving Holiday.  I purchased an inexpensive wooden box from a local Target store…it looks like a small “treasure box”.  I set the box on the end of our kitchen counter along with several strips of paper and some pens.  I asked each of my four sons to fill out a slip of paper each day stating one thing they were grateful for in their life….anything at all.  My husband and I also filled out slips daily for the box.  Since I knew my parents would be joining us for Thanksgiving, I sent small slips of paper to my parents in Florida asking them to do the same thing and then to bring them along to our family celebration.  I started this ritual the day after Halloween so that there would be at least three weeks of gratitude slips.   My sons needed a little “nudging” at first to remind them to fill out a slip each day but they soon became engaged in the ritual and it was apparent that it was having an effect on everyone’s attitude around the house.  It was already our practice each night at dinner to go around the table and ask each person, “What was the best thing that happened to you today?”  This ritual not only set the mood for the rest of the evening but it was a great way to engage the kids in talking about their day.

On Thanksgiving just before we sat down to our much anticipated feast, I asked everyone to gather in a circle and pass around the “Gratitude Box” drawing out a slip at random and reading it aloud.  I was surprised by the powerful emotional reaction that this created.  As the box went round and round the circle and the slips were read aloud, eyes became moist and there was an obvious loving glow created in everyone.  It was clear that this ritual would become a permanent feature of our family’s tradition.

The Gratitude Box is now a five year long tradition and many things have changed in our family.  Our oldest son lives in Chicago,  our twin sons moved out into their own home, and my youngest son is in the Navy.  In preparation for Thanksgiving, I’m sending strips of paper in a special letter to each of our sons and asking that they continue the tradition and bring their gratitude strips along to Thanksgiving Dinner.  I’m sure they will.  :-)

One of the most precious parts of this ritual is that I have kept all five years of strips…..reading them not only touches my heart but gives a “historical account” of all the growth and development of our sons and the family over these last five years.  Counting one’s blessings is indeed a powerful way to maximize feelings of gratitude but the added dimension of doing this exercise as a family centered around a holiday such as Thanksgiving, is priceless.  I highly recommend that you consider ways to create rituals that reinforce the practice of gratitude.  It surely adds happiness to our lives and meaning to our connections to one another!  Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!

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