The Audacity of Hope and Dealing with a Chronic Illness
January 30, 2008
Regardless of where you stand on the political spectrum in this charged election year, it’s striking to see the fire that has been ignited in many people, especially the younger generation by the emotional call of Barack Obama’s campaign for President. To those of us who study Positive Psychology it should come as no surprise. The power of hope can not be underestimated. Hope and optimism create positive emotion and as the research of Barbara Fredrickson teaches us, positive emotion broadens and builds our thought-action repertoire. Hope is akin to rocket fuel when elicited by a speaker who feels deep passion about his cause. Fear and terror elicit deep feelings as well but in a restricting, limiting fashion. Fear calls on survival mobilization. Fear can trump all other emotions when one perceives their life to be threatened. However, it does not lend itself to creative, expansive problem solving, like positive emotions such as hope do.
The attacks on 9-11 created an atmosphere of fear and terror in our country…it might be fair to say that we as a nation were “traumatized”. Terror management theory says that at such times, an authoritarian leader can be very appealing. The black and white, simplistic posture that such a leader represents can be reassuring to frightened people. The confusion, randomness of terror tactics can create a desire for order to return above all else. An authoritarian leader can seem very desirable in such a climate. “Tell me what to do, and promise that if I follow you, everything will be okay”. When the world is painted as black and white, good versus evil, things seem understandable again. As long as I am with the good guys, I’ll be okay, right? However, nothing in this complex world is simple, black or white or can be reduced to notions of absolute good and evil. Life can be random, unfair and maddeningly confusing, even during the best of times.
What does all this have to do with chronic illness, you may astutely ask? Well, having recently been diagnosed with a serious, chronic illness, I am no stranger to feelings of fear and terror. Will I survive? What does all this mean? Why me? How do I make sense of this? Which doctor or hospital can save me from this fate? All these questions and more are certainly part of my experience (and I imagine others in similar circumstance). Initially, survival is all one can think about. All of ones energy is mobilized in the direction of surviving. Sadness, grief, anger, fear are all part of the process. However, living “successfully” with a chronic illness requires the return of hope. Hope not only gets one out of bed in the morning (or off the couch) but begins to “broaden and build a thought action repertoire”. “How do I live now?” I’m still me, just rearranged in a new, unfamiliar fashion. What creative ways can I employ to live in harmony with this unwelcome reality? I need good doctors and good medical expertise but with an incurable, rare illness, there are no black and white simple answers. No doctor can keep me safe or predict the future for me. Statistics are nice but they never predict an individual journey through unknown territory. Hope and optimism broaden thinking, making creative solutions once again possible. When dealing with a chronic illness, “realistic optimism” is indispensable, in my opinion! Remaining optimistic, positive and hopeful gives you the fuel to creatively problem solve as you move through the many challenges that illness can present. I have relied heavily each and every day on the many cognitive techniques I learned though studying positive psychology principles.
This brings me back to what I originally began talking about and to what I’ve observed these last few days being played out on the larger world stage of politics. How does a country disheartened and traumatized (not unlike being diagnosed with an illness) find its center once again and move forward with a realistic sense of hope and optimism? Well, we can either stay stuck and overwhelmed in a state of fear or worse yet, apathy and cynicism….or we can focus on what is possible in this complex and ever changing world. Those leaders that know how to inspire hope, optimism, and bring about positive emotion have the best chance of helping our country thrive in our complex world. The inclusive, creative energy of a positive, hopeful leader can mobilize what is best in its citizenry. Positive emotion and energy in balance with realistic optimism will, in my opinion, be our best hope of thriving and healing. Not unlike those elements needed to thrive with a chronic illness.
Much wisdom can be gleaned from the field of Positive Psychology. It is not just a “feel good” exercise. The research and knowledge about powerful concepts such as gratitude, hope, optimism and positive emotion, just to name a few, have answers to many human dilemmas tricher poker en lignejeu de poker gratuitspoker online argentpoker multijoueur gratuitesregles tournoi pokerjeux poker tour en lignele pokersites de poker onlineregles poker 2play seven card stud onlinejeu de poker internetjouez pokerpoker games networld of series pokerstrategie poker onlinetelecharger partie pokerjouer poker omaha en lignejeu de carte poker gratuitesjouer poker mact?l?charger de poker onlineworld champion pokerjouez au poker en lignepoker gratuites hors ligneкомпютриjeu poker freewarelogiciel jeu pokerholdem poker onlinetilt pokertable de poker en lignepoker gratuites bruelregles de jeu poker,regles poker,regles poker hold hemjouer de pokersexy poker onlineprofessional poker tourregles poker holdemjouer poker en ligne gratuitestricher au poker en lignejouer o poker gratuitementpoker gratuites sur internetregles du jeu de pokerjeux poker a telechargerstud poker onlinebonus pokervideo poker a telechargerpoker gratuites cadeaujeu poker portables ,jeu de poker en ligne,jeu pokerwam poker comsalle poker onlineregles du poker texas holdemjeu poker a telechargerpoker en ligne paypal and I believe provide the best illumination when an individual or nation has temporarily lost its way!
movie review: the bucket list
January 30, 2008
Recently my husband and I saw “The Bucket List” staring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. Nicholson plays a corporate billionaire and Freeman a working class mechanic who share the same hospital room. Both have been diagnosed with terminal illness and realize they share the same urgent desire to accomplish unfulfilled dreams until they “kick the bucket”. As they set off on the trip of a lifetime, they build a powerful bond of friendship while learning to “seize the day and live life to the fullest”! As they accomplish each of their goals, they check it off the list. In the process, they find the joy and fulfillment that had thus far eluded them in their lives. Although the plot is somewhat predictable, the message rings true. The absolute joy that can result from setting goals and pursuing them with abandon is supported by much of the research in goal setting. Often, we don’t have a feeling of gratitude for our life, or health until it is threatened. When we are reminded that our time is limited, living our authentic life often takes on a new urgency.
Many people who have had brushes with death have created “life lists”. Marty Seligman suggests writing a Legacy Letter (or Eulogy) that takes a retrospective look back at your life from a future vantage point to encourage “seizing the day” and becoming the architect of your own future. I found this exercise really inspirational and clarifying.
One of the biggest problems facing most of us today is being over-stressed, over-tired and overworked. Taking time to stop, pause and reflect in a state of mindfulness and gratitude helps calibrate our life’s trajectory. Another message from “The Bucket List’ is that relationships with others offer much deeper satisfaction than accumulating wealth. However, living out one dreams and not standing on the sidelines of life is also essential to a life well lived!
I can enthusiastically recommend “The Bucket List”….I am busy composing my list….How about you?