Gratitude
November 25, 2007
Gratitude
by Linda Lawless
Gratitude is more or less important to you depending on your value system. The emerging field of positive psychology has identified Gratitude as one of its core values that helps people live fulfilling lives. You can assess your core values and even take a Gratitude self-assessment for FREE (click here).
The bottom line is that we are in the season of gratitude with Thanksgiving and the Holidays upon us, and knowing how to appreciate yourself and others is a key issue for the season.
Here’s an important tip regarding the expression of gratitude. One of the exercises Marty Seligman, author of Authentic Happiness, has students do is to write a Gratitude Letter. This letter thanks someone in your past or present for something they gave you. What he found was that when students wrote their letters they felt good about themselves and the letters recipient. Where they got into trouble was when they delivered the letter. Sometimes the letter was accepted graciously, but sometimes the recipient was confused and in some cases belligerent about being thanked for something they were not even aware of, i.e., being thanked for teaching their child resilience through frequent verbal abuse. So, when you get in touch with what you are grateful about yourself, sit with it and take in what you can. When you want to express gratitude to others, pause and ask yourself if they are ready to hear it.
During this season I recommend exploring your own value of gratitude by visiting the website above, and more simply, telling people you run into during your life, when you honestly appreciate what they have, or are doing that you appreciate them. I told my personal trainer how much I appreciated his ability to work around my aging bodies weekly needs and stopped him dead in his tracks while he dealt with being told something good for a change. I told the lady at the checkout stand in the market that I appreciated her daily good cheer and brought a tear to her eye.
On a larger scale, the Greater Good Magazine out of UC Berkeley, whose mission is devoted to the scientific understanding of happy and compassionate individuals, strong social bonds, and altruistic behavior, dedicated an article in their Summer 2007 edition to Gratitude. You can find it here.
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